- Created: 10 November 2006
- Written by CKemu
One of the greatest questions mankind has ever asked is; "How long does Saqib take to give testers a beta?". It's a common question raised by many testers over the years.
One could argue that such questions are not to be answered by mankind, for such knowledge would surely destroy us, well I for one believe that mankind must know, for it could be the key to unlocking one of the greatest advances in Quantum Theory, since zerofrog learned how to collapse entire galaxies with his zeroGS KOSMOS.
To calculate the real world time it will take for saqib to deliver a beta to any given tester, you have to take into account the following variables and factors.
Nagging Factor (N), does the tester have the strength to 'push' Saqib into hurrying along, for most testers this strength is given as merely a fraction of 1 as Saqib is remarkably stubborn!
Thus often N has little impact on the rate of beta delivery, However a tester can use the offer of pornography (P) to entice Saqib to speed up, but this is a double edged sword, a value greater than 3 (3 videos, 3 photosets etc), will create a - ahem 'W' effect, causing the divider in this calculation to be reset to 1.
Coffee Power ( C ) truly an awesome cosmic force in the universe, it's magical beans can break through temporal barriers allowing for the user to work faster! In fact it's powers are so truly incredible, a single mug of coffee acts as a massive multiplier, with each mug being worth ^2.
Laz0ritus is a common side effect caused by lack of daylight and social interaction, creating an almost coma like state, this is a severe factor and can extend waiting duration by significant amounts of time, such is the effect that the multiplier for this variable can be set as high as 24 hours (1440 minutes).
KOSMOS Temporal Pull (K) When working with KOSMOS all testers are effected by the dragging effect caused by this massive Energy Black Hole (EBH), which consumes entire galaxy clusters constantly, however developers are exposed to higher levels of KTP, which causes their time to move extremely slowly, for every minute that passes in their time, 10,080 minutes pass in our time. The longer a developer has been exposed to this effect the greater the effect.
Temporal Reality Flux Syndrome (F) Early years of PCSX2 development was a risky business, those who ventured into this unknown, often came back 'different', medically the issue is little understood, but is believed to be caused by watching motion at sub 1 FPS, this causes the developer to perceive time outside of PCSX2 to be incredibly fast.
This causes the sufferer to slow down to the more comfortable PCSX2 speeds they became accustomed to in those early days, doctors and scientists have learned in recent studies that the brain and motor functions slow down by 60x normal values.
In some extreme cases it's known to produce such a slowdown that the developer is apparently petrified (Frozen in time). Others consider this is merely a visual side effect as such low levels of motion cannot be perceived by humans in normal space.
Thus the following calculation can be made:
R=Real World Time (Minutes)
S=Saqib Time (Minutes)
K=10080, L=1440, F=6, P=2, C=10, N=2, S=1.
So a single minute in Saqib Time is equal to 7.29 Days in our time, this work is theoretical at the moment and needs a great deal of refinement, however one can see via this simple equation that we'll be long dead by the time PCSX2 has Saqib's code.
One hopes that a scientist or time traveler gets chance to see this and can offer help and advice for Saqib and his somewhat unique dilemma.